Very much so actually....

um.... i think its been almost a year since ive posted.... so.... for those that would like a quick update... here it is : )


I'm still working in retail management....been at the same job for a year now.... but having brett for support has given me the time (meaning i dont have to work crazy long shifts to make rent)  to get my GED out of the way.

the funny thing is that after all the years of not having the time or money to do so i had it so built up in my mind .... but i enrolled in a class... and i took one section of the test a week and finished it in just over a month.... getting perfect or very high scores on all of the sections (even math...not my strongest subject...and probably the main thing keeping me from taking the test all of these years.)

brett and i have moved out of our cute little apartment in admeral.... to a lovely towne home with a much prettier kitchen for me to play in. 
we traded out the Rx8  (sad i know)  for a more couple friendly car so i have more mobility and so we can more easily go to the mountains and strap a kayak on top if we so wish (not so easy to do in a little sports car)  We now have a Nissan Rogue and im loving it.... and i think we actually use less gas even though its considered a crossover. 

I'm still working on my healthy lifestyle program and writing my cookbook for my fellow foodies that would like to eat healthy without giving up the pleasure of full flavor food. 

im also back in school.... soon ill be working toward a certificate degree in medical transcription... which will allow me to leave retail management behind me forever.... and hopefully free up some time and money to work toward a degree in Nutrition or perhaps holistic med or naturopathy  and start building my own business.

Brett is doing well....  he's making some big deals for his company and enjoying his job and working with the west coast people.  We just returned from Maui and had a great time... hopefully ill remember to post some pictures....but im not good at that stuff anymore.

we went to the top of Haleakala .... and watched the sunrise from the top of the volcano... which was breathtaking... but not nearly as entertaining as the conversations you have with strangers in the dark... when you're all huddled together in the surprising cold.... sleep and oxogen deprived .... waiting for the sun to rise.... you would be surprised at what you will find funny in such conditions.... pretty much anything really....

we went snorkeling with eels, sharks, sea turtles.... and plenty of brightly colored fish in several reefs.... which might be our new found favorite hobby.

we also drove the road to Hana.... not suggested for those who get carsick easily .... but if not... and you happen to be in maui... just do it... it takes up the better part of a day.... and once you get to hana there is nothing there.... but the drive is still worth it.  the resorts are all built on the calm side of the island which....though beautiful.... is not the tropical paradise i always pictured.  the road to hana is on the other side of the island where there is rough surf..... dizzying cliffs.... black sand beaches (more rock than sand really).... waterfalls and tropical forests....  on the drive back we could see rain storms out in the middle of the ocean.... like... a big dark cloud and a pillar of rain falling  from it... it was strange to see it that way.... and then a massive rainbow formed.... we could see a full arch around the pininsula.... it was unreal. 

we didnt have nearly enough time to enjoy the island....but we pack a lot in.  by the last day we wished we had two more days just to lounge around.... but we ended our trip with a long walk on Ka'anapali beach where we were staying.... and soaked up the sunlight and clear blue water while getting a crazy good thigh and calf workout from the drastic slope of the sand .... caused by the fairly strong waves.

so... maybe not such a quick update.... but thats actually a pretty modest summery of all the big happenings this past year.... i could go on for days going into details...



OH... and we saw Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in concert last month..... and it was awesome

ok.... hope you are all doing well.... reply and update me on your lives... and i hope ya'll get a chance to visit someday so we can show you why we love to call seattle home.... our favorite thing to do is show off our city to friends and family.

so one of the reasons ya'll havent heard from me in a while is i dont really have internet yet in seattle.... among other equally good excuses.


my sister is getting married in 13 hours.... thats crazy...  im so happy for her though.


with my sisters wedding and new house .... and me going back to seattle for good.... my mom is in a teary eyed nothing-is-ever-going-to-be-the-same-again faze....


our little family is alll growed up.


im very homesick and cant wait to get back to washington.... my philly trip hasnt been that relaxing because i really havnt been able to see anyone or do anything that isnt wedding related.

as for the move.... im happy.... i only had real anxiety the second week i was there and after a few talks with brett and some time getting settled in.... i havnt felt that way since.

i have to work on a few things.... i have yet to find a suitable job because im really holding out for morning hours...  so i have to give myself daily pep talks to keep from losing motivation (a lot harder then you would think)....and also to keep me from snapping at brett for no reason....  snapping and nagging and things like that are not typically in my nature.... but i slip sometimes when im feeling isolated.... or i just isolate myself more and shut down completely...    i would like to avoid both.

brett has been so wonderful and supportive... and im praying that soon i can start contributing equally to the household and do something really special for him to show him my appreciation.

when i first got there a month and a half ago.... it was quite a long and tiring journey involving broken planes, a dead body and an overnight stay in pittsburgh because thats as far as i got the first day... when i finally landed and brett and i were sitting down to eat my first real meal in two days.... he said...."im sorry it took you so long to get here.... but welcome home"  .... at the time i almost didnt want to believe that just yet...  but it *is* home..... im finally home (wow, that was cheesy.)


i love that city..... i love my neighborhood (and my neighbors).... i love having bretts company again... i love all the possibilities in front of me.... 

of course as im settling in im a bit on edge.... but every day i relax a bit more and i can tell you .... even from just a few weeks ago..... my drastic life change stress has faded quickly... and now im excited to start my life there.... start building my future on a strictly positive note.


brett is getting a lot better at tuning in to me.... although i wouldnt say im *subtle* when it comes to him... im pretty transparent...

i was extremely anxious about coming here for the wedding..... for many reasons.... i just did not want to come back here yet.... even for a visit.... 

he said "at least this time... for the first time... youre leaving with a return ticket in hand"


sometimes he knows just what to say to put things into perspective.


so aside from wanting a job desperately because i have WAY too much bottled up energy to be home all day.... im content.... and im keeping busy with my business plan.... and i hope to be taking classes in the fall and recruiting brett as my sexy study partner.... 

i will try to keep up with everyone better from now on.... this new journal has a *much* shorter friends list right now so hopefully that will help me keep on top of it.  ill eventrually go through my old friends list and add some people.... but i just havnt had the online time to do that yet.

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velcro is no longer with us.... i cant even begin to tell you how much that little cat meant to me.


she was with me for two thirds of my life....and she comforted me through illness and heartache... she was completely selfless... and compassionate... and you may laugh to hear someone describe a cat this way ...but its true.... she worried.... and she nurtured.... and she was something that i could count on


she never looked at me with disappointment.... or judgment.... she wasnt afraid to comfort someone when they cried... she loved me the same no matter how long i was gone.... or how busy my life would get... as soon as i needed her she was already prepared.


my mother said she was "tuned in" to me.... and that i was her world.


i feel tremendous guilt for not being here with her during her final days....to comfort her as she so often did for me.... but i was told she was in pain....and i couldnt let her suffer for two more weeks so that i could say goodbye

i can just hope that she knew she was loved unconditionally....and that i gave her the life that she truly deserved.

part of my unemployment anxiety is that i know sometimes it takes forever and a day for a business to call you.... CVS called me at least three weeks after i applied.... probably closer to a month...


i really didnt want to wait that long.... im broke.... and restless


so ive been praying pretty consistently to find a suitable job quickly ....

well.... i just got called in for an interview next week from the place that was my top choice... im way over qualified for it and im not sure if that will be a good or bad thing.... so....



WISH ME LUCK!!!

location: seeeeeaaaaaattle

so.... right after rush hour....they closed the road in front of the apartment and started the resurfacing process... it is now 1am.... 


they're still doing it....

there is a big ass machine ripping through asphalt like 30 feet from where i now sit. 

i realize its a fairly busy road...and this is the least inconvenient time to close it..... but its also lined with homes and apartment buildings.... people need to get up in like four hours for work....

i had to close all the windows ....its hot..... everything is vibrating.... no.... shaking violently.... and the noise is still quite difficult to tune out.


as if my insomnia wasnt bad enough.





but im pretty content right now.... a few nagging thoughts.... but to be honest thats pretty normal for me.

the fourth was nice.... more quality time with my neighbors.... we all walked down to alki where we could see all types of fireworks in various locations about the city... we had some goofy fun with rocks and boobies... and i got some much needed fresh air.

i missed brett a lot though.... holidays do shit like that.... he's in canada for a wedding and has been gone all week.... im doing my best to deal but the isolation was not something i could have really prepared myself for. im happy to report though... my nails have survived thus far and thats an accomplishment.... typically the smallest amount of stress and ive gotten them down to bloody nubs...

we had the opportunity to catch up a bit on the phone tonight though....and that eased a lot of my tension.


i owe my neighbors ... they saved my sanity this week....and they've been so understanding and open with me.... definitely lucked out in that respect.


the first few days of isolation yielded a lot of complex fitness programs and quite a bit of progress on my business plan.... but after two or three days of very little sleep and mal nutrition....i lose my ability to concentrate on any projects...


tomorrow ill just stick to something simple....like cleaning the apartment.... and then maybe getting the hell out of it for a bit.

its not easy being a gypsy.... but i always adjust.

mood: awake

this is a rant... not that im typically fond of the media.... but american women are being horribly misinformed about female orgasms....

please allow me to elaborate...


im not just talking about cosmopolitan magazine.... ive even seen this in otherwise valid and trustworthy health and medical sources.

for example... here is a quote from an article in a medical newsletter that i read regularly....


“It’s a rampant misconception that most women achieve orgasm during intercourse,” says Searah Dreysach, owner of Chicago’s Early to Bed, a female-friendly erotica shop. “Women’s bodies simply aren’t designed to climax from penetration.”

In fact, studies show that only about one-third of women regularly orgasm during intercourse. Another third need additional stimulation or prefer a different activity altogether and the final third rarely, if ever, get there."


ok.... so it is true that only one third of women  achieve orgasm from penetration... *BUT*  it is NOT true that they cannot learn how to.

dont tell women they should just accept this and learn how to get around it.... tell them how to BECOME an orgasmic woman.

clitoral stimulation is all well and good but as a woman who regularly orgasms from intercourse i much prefer the sensation and emotional satisfaction of an internal orgasm...yes thats right.... a woman is capable of more than one kind of orgasm.... i personally have experienced at least four completely separate types of climax.

the female body is a sexual playground... all you have to do is discover its potential.


i know quite a few women who have confided in me that they have yet to experience an orgasm.... or rarely climax..... or climax only from clitoral stimulation.... and i usually find a solution and help them open the door to sexual exploration and a much more satisfying experience.

women in a monogamous and trusting relationship are far more likely to find success in this area....


if anyone is actually interested in my theories i will continue this... or just email me and ask.


for now.... im done ranting.

location: gordon and elizabeths... on elizabeths much faster computer